When That One Dot Needs All the Prayers It Can Get

I waited for 3 hours before I got to meet my ob/gyn at DSH on Saturday. I don't understand why a specialist, at an esteemed private hospital, would not take appointments and instead prefers to enforce a first come, first served system! (thus the long wait...)

Grouses aside, I was ultra excited to have my belly ultra-sound scanned for the first time. And it only took seconds before I saw my baby... It was just one tiny round spot. A beautiful round spot. Haha.

But the thrill was quickly replaced by sadness when I told the doctor about the chicken pox I just recovered from. While she slowly explains the risks that my baby will face, I slowly broke down. I didnt want to cry. I hate crying in front of anyone (except Hanif). But hearing something that I'm actally already aware of from my ob/gyn's mouth, just saddened me. And the worst thing was, she actually asked if aborting will be a choice that I will consider. Cry.....

Aborting was definitely not an option.

Although initially I thought it would be best if we kept the news of my pregnancy a secret until my next ob/gyn visit, I changed my mind towards the evening as I suddenly felt our baby needs all the prayers from our closest and loved ones. It was our only option - to pray that my baby will be healthy... and sempurna.

I couldnt make the calls. I was an emotional wreck. After dinner, Hanif made the calls to my parents, his parents and my aunt who raised me (whom I call Mak)... at a distance that I could not listen to their conversation as he knew the 'repercussions' if I did. But yet, I still teared. Gosh.....

The doctor told us we can only see the baby's heartbeat in 2 weeks time. Im only 4 weeks along now. The doctor also said that if the fetus is weak, it will abort itself. Cry..... But if there's a heartbeat, then Insya allah, our baby will be fine....

So until then... we are all praying.... and I hope by then I can share with all my friends and loved ones the good news....