Within this precious 6 months, I've come to understand that friendships are not forever, even if you are the BFF of all BFFs, even when you've shared your entire teenage/college years together maneuvering our way around our parents (translation: occasional lying), sweating it out at exams, bickering about boyfriends, bitching about girlfriends, having the time of our lives, discovering life....
Within the span of my pregnancy so far, I've had to let go - no, lost - a friend. Or two. Of my dearest, closest friends. I owe this to the entirely different paradigms of life each of us are at this present moment. While I'm carefully harvesting this precious being within me which will make its way into this world next year, my dearest friends are respectively busy with her newfound purpose in life and the other is still figuring out, or shall I say fighting for her 'happily ever after'. I don't see why we can't all still be in each other's lives despite the differences in environment, and in opinions. I know I can...
I miss both of them, truly. And it breaks my heart to decide that I do not want both of them in my life at all anymore. I can't bear to continue being upset, sad or disappointed at your choices of action when it comes to our friendship. I have a lil boy on the way, and I don't need both of you to take that joy away from me.
Friends warned me that when you have a child, your world changes entirely and it will never be the same again. This is very true, only that I didn't have to wait for my baby to be born before my life started to change. I will probably be losing two of the funnest, funniest and craziest friends, but I bet my life on it that everything will be even more amazing and meaningful when my son arrives...
To both of my former friends, all the best in your future endeavors, may God bless both of you with what you've been in search of all these while.
